After The Flames
by kikowriters
Summary: Peeta and Katniss live the happy ending that we all want, but happened in between? Starting from a couple weeks after the rebellion to the epilogue and furthermore. This story tells of the hardships of living their lives, with nightmares, Peeta's breaks, and death. While also telling us of the joy and happiness brought to both of them just by being together.
1. Chapter 1- After the Rebellion

Introduction

 **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN IT, THIS IS SIMPLY A FICTIONAL WRITING WRITTEN FOR PURE ENJOYMENT. THANK YOU.**

The last time we spoke was when I was in a meadow with my husband, Peeta Mellark, and my two children, Rose and Mitch playing in the field. Although this seems like it would be a great way for you to end my story, there is more to it.

Life was hard up until now, really hard. As you know, winning the rebellion and my love back was pretty nice. My happy ending, that many people of mine and other districts did not live to experience, came for me. I am happy, very happy.

After the rebellion was won, there was a lot that happened. I want you to know more of my story, not just the glazed over part. All the parts, good and bad. The period before here, when I was 17 (almost 18) and with Peeta.

Chapter One- After the Rebellion (Age 17)

I scream, tremble at my nightmare. It was Gale and Peeta dying next to each other. President Snow screaming at me because I could only save one of them. I chose Peeta, and Gale was killed with a vile of night lock. I wipe the tears off my face and look over to my clock, it reads 4:00 AM. I know I will not be able to go back to bed so I go walk in the garden of primroses that Peeta had planted for me. His arms were so defined that day in that sweat damp t-shirt he wore.

I look over at the many different colors as my eyes both start to water. How could someone take a young girl's life. Especially Prim, she was so young and innocent. I wish the bombs were never created in the first place. I look over and see Peeta also admiring the Primroses as he feeds some of the birds flocking around his house with some leftover bread pieces.

He looks at me and smiles, "Good morning, beautiful!"

I glance over at him, I feel the blush in my face start to form within my cheeks and am flustered because of my love for him. This came all so suddenly, but it feels amazing. Being with him is the best thing I have right now.

So all I could murmur out was, "Oh- um- Hi! Good morn-morning!"

I hear him chuckle as he jogs lightly over to me. He embraces me firmly and it sends a rush through my body. He is so cute. I sound like one of those girls who was madly in love with Finnick. Oh well, now I understood their pain.

"Why are you awake right now?", he asks me in a curious tone.

"I had a nightmare" I say.

"Oh, it's okay' he brushes his strong hands through my hair, 'I had one too, it's okay, I am here."

We just stand there for a while, him and I hugging, not wanting to let go of each other. The warmth breaks when he asks me if I would like to go make a cake with him, I say sure, even though I suck at making cakes.

Ever since our nightmares have started, Peeta and I have taken deeper interests in our hobbies, mine hunting, his baking. It is funny because we, both, are not good at each others, but we cope that way. It's nice to have something to calm you down when someone you love isn't always themselves.

Yes, Peeta still has his outbreaks. He is on medicine from Dr. Aurelius, which helps him a lot. He still is the Peeta I know. I just don't know when I can trust him and when I have to be cautious around him.

"Katniss is everything alright?" He asks me, worried, I can tell.

"Perfectly fine." I tell him sternly

"Katniss, so we haven't really discussed this ever since the ending of the rebellion, but where are we? Relationship wise, I guess?"

"Well, I am not sure yet, Peeta" I ask hoping he will say something else in return to make me feel better for my lack of words.

"Katniss, I don't know if I feel alright with us being in a relationship yet."


	2. Chapter 2- New Solutions

Chapter 2- New Solutions

 **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN IT, THIS IS SIMPLY A FICTIONAL WRITING WRITTEN FOR PURE ENJOYMENT. THANK YOU.**

"Why? Peeta, don't doubt that I love you, I do, I love you so so much, I can't live without you". Then I realize that I have never said those words before, I have never told Peeta that I loved him, really loved him. Not that stuff we played for the Capitol, but actual love. It brewed from the deepest parts of my body and made me feel so light.

"Katniss, I love you too, this isn't the problem. I don't trust myself around you, I am dangerous Katniss, too dangerous, you are the most important thing in my life right now, you can't be around me, I will hurt you, that is the last thing I need right now, is to feel bad for hurting the love of my life."

"Peeta-" I am cut off by his voice, firm.

"Katniss, I can't, I know but I can't-"

I lean in and kiss his lips. Hard, passionately. He mumbles something, but I can't pick it up. He holds my wait and I grab onto his hair. His dirty blonde hair is so perfect and smooth, I'm in love with his hair? Bless me.

"Katniss… Go, go!" Peeta starts to tremble and his eyes turn to black, "You mutt, you did this to me!" He yells.

"Peeta! It's me Peeta! It's me!" I scream.

"Yeah, the bitch who ruined my life?! Pretended to be in love with me? How could I have ever loved you? You whore!" The list goes on and on, I can't take it anymore, he starts to throw spatulas and bowls everywhere, glass littering the floor, and I leave the house before he can get a hold of me.

My phone rings and it's Peeta, " Katniss, Katniss, are you okay? Katniss, I am so sorry, Katniss pick up your phone, please, pick it up, I want to talk to you about this, Katniss? I love you."

I don't know what to do, so I just do what I think I should and I call Dr. Aurelius and ask if there have been any new profound cures.

"Katniss, I know there is a way to cure him, I just, I am not sure if-"

"I will do anything, I will pay for anything, I promised him I would protect him, that's what him and I do, we protect each other... always."

"I don't believe payment will be the problem, Ms. Everdeen. I just don't know if you will approve of the treatment. We have done it before, I just know you would not be very fond of the idea." He tells me, leaving me more anxious.

"Well we have this treatment, it's called electric shock therapy? Have you ever heard of it?"

I fall silent, of course I have heard of electric shock therapy. It is painful. Very painful.

"Yes... I have. It's painful."

"It is, but Ms. Everdeen, it's the best thing for him."

"Is it? Is it really? Do you understand how much pain we both have been through within the last year? He lost his whole family, all of it, all of his family is gone. I am all he has left, the only one he loves. Do you know that? I am the only one left for him! I can't stand to see him in more pain! Is there anything else I can do? We can do? Please, I do not want to harm him."

"Ms. Everdeen, I understand that the amount of hardships you have both faced within this year would be quite unbearable for any normal human. You two aren't normal, you are strong people. If you really do not want to put him through that, we can just increase the dose of his pills, those won't help much Katniss, not as much as the electric shock therapy would."

"Can I call you tomorrow?" I ask, dreading the decision I must make.

"Sure, I will talk to you tomorrow, get a good nights rest Ms. Everdeen." He says, guilt in his tone.

"I will." I hang up the phone.


	3. Chapter 3- Big Decisions

Chapter 3- Big Decisions

 **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN IT, THIS IS SIMPLY A FICTIONAL WRITING WRITTEN FOR PURE ENJOYMENT. THANK YOU.**

NOTE: What do you guys want me to describe the character's looks off of? The books or the movies? I like Josh's looks because I have been in love with him since Zathura! Hah! Probably will keep his description as the movie looks, just btw. But let me know what you guys think and if I can make any more improvements in the story in the comments. Mind you this is my first fan fiction, so please be understanding!

I woke up sweating. A pool of wetness drenched my sheets as I stood up. I forgot what I dreamt about last night. It wasn't good. It was murky; I just knew I didn't feel safe. I read my flashing clock, 7:00 am. I hear my phone ringing, the caller ID reads _: Haymitch Abernathy,_ I answer the phone with a rough hello.

"Well good morning to you too sweetheart!" He answers sarcastically.

"What do _you_ want, Haymitch?" I was not in the mood or in the right mind to deal with him right now.

"Just reminding _you_ that we have to go see Paylor today at 12:00 today, that's all, you really need to calm down. Have a drink why don't you?"

I forgot about Paylor's meeting with all of the victors (or what was remaining of us anyways) about government affairs.

"Thanks for the reminder Haymitch, is Effie coming over?"

"Yes, at 11:00, she's very excited to see you."

"Well, I should call Peeta and get ready." I say trying to end the call.

" I already did it, he will be over at your house at 9:30." He sounded satisfied, he sounded responsible. He was proud, I could tell.

"Okay, thanks Haymitch, I will see you at 12:00."

I have two hours to make myself look presentable. I jump in to the shower and put on some nice looking clothes, still comfortable, but nice looking. I throw my hair into my well-known braid and put on minimal make-up.

I try to make cheese buns with the left over dough in the fridge Peeta gave to me, but it never turns out exactly like how he makes it for me. He kneads his dough to perfection. Sometimes I am too soft, but most of the time too hard on the dough, I am a rough person, what can I say?

The clock reads 8:45, knowing Peeta he will show up early. He is always so responsible about his commitments, which is another thing I love about him.

I hear a knock at the door, I get up and run to the door. I open it, Peeta looks at me like a sad puppy dog begging for a treat. I hug hum and whisper in his ear how I am sorry I wasn't there for him and how I wasn't there to comfort him, all while he does the same, crying in my ear telling me how sorry he is that he hurt me. He weeps and tells me he never wants that again.

I wipe the tears from his hazel eyes, while he does the same for mine.

"It's okay', he reassures me, 'I want to talk to Dr. Aurelius and talk about possible solutions to the problem, I need to be fixed for you. I need to be with you."

I start to tear up again, he is willing to be in any condition, for me. All for me.

"Even if it hurt you?" I ask fighting back tears and the burning in my throat.

"Anything, for you, forever and always."

I kiss him, hoping that it will not trigger anything, and it doesn't. The kiss lasts a while, until I realize that I am very hungry and smell my burnt cheese buns in the oven, and ask Peeta if he can make his cheese buns for me. He nods and smiles a bit.

"Of course, why wouldn't I want to make you happy?" He smirks.

I hug him, he's so cute.

As soon as we sit in I look over at the clock and it reads 11:00, well crap. Effie Trinket is always fashionably late, a common trait within the people of the Capitol. Although today is a presidential meeting, so she knows she needs to be on time.

We sit and chat and laugh and kiss. Until Effie barges in with a grand: "Hello! My two favorite victors! Where are you?"

We stop kissing and she looks shocked, "Well I have never seen that be so... well passionate. Anyways, today is a very very big day for all of us! Let's go!"

We pack our bags and get out of the house and head on over to the Capitol.

Here goes nothing.


	4. Chapter 4- The Discussions

Chapter 4 – The Discussions

 **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN IT, THIS IS SIMPLY A FICTIONAL WRITING WRITTEN FOR PURE ENJOYMENT. THANK YOU.**

Peeta and I enter the room to find Annie, Johanna, Beetee, Enobaria, and Haymitch all smiling, giving us hugs as we enter the room. Each of us has our demons, but we choose to hide them, especially now in front of each other.

Beetee is struggling with depression, while Annie is, just Annie I guess. Enobaria has anger as well as anxiety issues and Johanna is stressed and aging quickly. You can tell by the multiple wrinkles right next to the crevasse of her eyeballs.

As for Peeta and I well we have our own problems.

Paylor sits us down and offers us beverages. I order a milkshake, this is one of the many delicacies we do not have back in 12. So I am going to get everything I can get here while I still can.

Paylor asks us first off how we all are, we go around the room until Paylor gets serious with us.

"As you all know there have been revisions to the constitution of Panem since the rebellion ended in victory. We need to know which things should be changed and which things we should keep and all of this fun stuff… Now this may be a sensitive subject for you all. Or maybe some. I would like to read the first few passages of the constitution and try to change or keep depending on the people's votes. May I proceed?"

We all nod, except for Beetee, of course, he is the genius of the bundle, he must know a better solution than to just re-word and change a few things in the constitution.

"I propose a different solution, President Paylor."

"And what is that, Beetee?"

"We let the people decide on the laws."

"How would we do that?" I ask, talking to Beetee makes me ever so curious. He is so smart; it is hard to believe he can even put up with us.

"Well we would proceed to make laws, narrow them down until we cannot decide on them, and then let the people decide on which ones stay and which ones go. Overall we would have our say while also letting the people get what they want. Easy." He answers the question so simply, like butter melting on hot toast.

"That is a brilliant idea Beetee, wish I thought of it myself." Answers Paylor.

Beetee blushes, was there something that we were missing here? Was there something going on between Beetee and Paylor? That's cute, in it's own way, kind of weird too. I can't really decide on which it is. I guess as long as they are happy together.

"What laws do you think should be created first?" Paylor asks all of us.

"Education on the rebellion is a must" I say.

"Yes, but that means we need to educate on the background of why it started. We should discuss this later' she looks down at her phone, 'there is something urgent I must attend to, we can meet later on this week and talk some more, but thank you everyone for coming today and I am very sorry I had to cut it short today. Have a nice day, Marcis and Genisis will escort you in hovercrafts. Thank you." She leaves.

"Katniss, I think we should stop by Dr. Aurelius just to see the possible cures, in four."

I am a little shocked, but I agree, "Okay, whatever you want."

We walk onto our hovercraft and tell the pilot to take us to four; he turns around and chuckles a bit.

"What's up Catnip?"


	5. Chapter 5- Old Fuses

Chapter 5- Old Fuses

 **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN IT, THIS IS SIMPLY A FICTIONAL WRITING WRITTEN FOR PURE ENJOYMENT. THANK YOU.**

"Gale?" I ask, I haven't seen him for months. It was weird seeing him again. His eyes blue, like I remembered and his hair a little longer now. It looks good.

"Hey, I didn't know that you were going to be in this hovercraft, I promise." He looks over at Peeta before looking back at him. He didn't want to make Peeta angry.

I looked over at Peeta making sure he was okay, I could see anger in his eyes, not to the point of him lashing out and changing, but he was a different kind of mad. He was jealous, insecure; I really wish that he would just know that I am with him. I chose him.

I chose Peeta because I knew I loved him. When I felt that warmness in my body, the stirring I could not understand in the Quarter Quell when we kissed. I knew it was different. I couldn't distinguish the feeling of love. True love. I loved Prim, but this was different. It was like it was awakened inside of me. It was dormant and then woke when it found it's right time. It was with Peeta, I never felt this feeling with Gale. I wish I could explain that to him right now, but I just can't.

"That's, um, that's fine, don't worry about it." I answer, my voice shaking. I go to sit down by Peeta and I grab his hand and stroke my other had against his thigh.

I whisper in his ear: "It's okay Peeta. I chose you, he won't get in the way of us. I promise my whole life on it."

"I know, Katniss, I just hate seeing him. He makes me insecure and –"

I cut it off with a kiss planted on his soft lips and seal the lingering thoughts of paranoia running through his mind.

"You should talk to him Katniss, I know you want to." He answers solemnly.

" He is my best friend, but nothing more. I will talk to him with nothing but friendly undertones."

"It's not you that I don't trust,' he snarls, 'it's him."

"Don't worry about it." I kiss him on the cheek as I rise to go talk with Gale.

"How have you been Gale?" I ask, curious.

"I am alright,' he chuckles, 'just a little lonely, to be honest."

"You haven't seen your mom lately?" I ask worried.

"I have seen plenty of my family, I just, I miss you Katniss."

"I am with Peeta now Gale, I am sorry, but I chose him."

"I know, Katniss, I don't even need you to-"

We hear a crashing sound and screaming coming from Peeta. He must have changed, I am not sure what triggered it, but he was furious.

We both run over to the scene while Gale tells his co-pilot to take over.

I run screaming, "Peeta! Peeta!"

"Get away from me you mutt! Gale she's a mutt! Don't trust her! She's nothing but a dirty liar! She is a horrible person! You can't trust her! She is dangerous."

I look into his black eyes and just start to cry. This must calm Peeta down and he slowly turns back. Knowing that Gale had seen that makes me mad, he is probably wondering why I chose Peeta over him. He will just never know.

"Peeta, Peeta?" I ask.

"Katniss, I am sorry, Katniss." He hugs me and kisses the top of my head and he rocks me.

"You really chose that monster over me? That thing that will hurt you? I can protect you Katniss! From everything, everyone, and you choose him? A weakling who can't even take care of you? What are you going to do when he gets older and he's relying off of you for taking care of him? What is going to happen Katniss? Are you going to be working harder? What happens if he _hurts_ you Katniss? When you have kids? And they are around? What's going to happen? How are you going to explain that daddy just gets mad at mommy sometimes because he can't control it? Is that a healthy place to raise a child?"

I am furious with Gale. I thought he knew that I chose Peeta? Then I look over to Peeta who is harmed by these foul words.

"I can't control it Gale. It just happens, I don't want to hurt her! Do you really think I would? I love her! I love her to the point where I can't even describe it! I have always loved her! I love her so much! She is the only reason for me to wake up in the morning. That is the ONLY thing I look forward to everyday. Seeing her and hearing her voice. Everyday! Every damn day! So if you think that for one second that I am a monster and that I am doing nothing to try and protect the love of my life, then you are 100% wrong. Do you know what I am doing in 4 Gale? Do you? I am going to go see every single possible cure I can get. I am done hurting her, Gale. Don't you see that? I need to make her happy, that is all that I care about. Don't judge me, Gale."

The rest of the ride is silent and we get off the hovercraft.


	6. Chapter 6- Cure

Chapter 6- Cure

 **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN IT, THIS IS SIMPLY A FICTIONAL WRITING WRITTEN FOR PURE ENJOYMENT. THANK YOU.**

"I am really sorry Katniss, I didn't mean to make things awkward. I am sorry that I lashed out, I don't know what happens to me … It's like I just am frozen in time, and I want to come out of the darkness Katniss, but I can't, I am frozen, in the darkness. While this other being comes out and harms you, I can't deal with it. I can't stand the thought of your being hurt, I have seen you in so much pain lately, I can't bare to see you in more pain."

"Peeta- it's okay. You can't control it, I know that. I can't get mad at you for something you have no control over." I tell him. I almost feel like I am supposed to say sorry. I made him that way, I turned him into a two sided person. He hates me on the one hand, and loves and is dedicated to me on the other. I was the reason he got captured, I was the reason his family got killed, I am the reason why he felt betrayed for my love for him was not present for some time.

We walk a while, these thoughts dragging in my head, I express what I feel.

"Peeta- I'm sorry…"

"Why are you sorry? Katniss, why would you ever need to feel sorry? I am the one who hurts you."

"I made you like that, mean, hateful to me. It's not you, I know you know that it isn't you, but without me your life would have been so much better. I would have been out of the equation, you would be with someone else, living a happy life."

"Katniss, what are you talking about? Without you, my life would be nothing; I wouldn't be living a life. I would feel empty, like I am missing something. You are the missing puzzle piece that fits perfectly. I could never replace you. I really hope you know that. I love you, I love you so much."

I look into his eyes and I grab his hand, which was now cold, the weather was not the best right now in 4. I look at his hand and smile. It was one of the best things on his body, his strong hands. They could move anything, paint, and bake anything. I love his hands.

We arrive at Dr. Aurelius' and sit in the waiting room. Hoping no one will notice us, I really did not want to deal with the press or admirers right now. I wanted to have time with Peeta.

"Mr. Mellark?" The nurse calls him in.

I follow them into the hallway where they take his height and weight. Peeta is not the tallest, but the is strong, which definitely makes up for it. 5'8" and 180 pounds of perfection.

"Thank you Mr. Mellark, the doctor will be in here shortly." She leaves.

"Wow, she was pretty." I note, she was. She had beautiful blonde hair and big bright blue eyes. She reminded me of my mother.

"Wait, do I need to add another person on the list of potential people to take you away from me?" He says jokingly.

I giggle; at least he was trying to lighten the mood.

"Are you okay?" I ask as he rubs my thigh.

"I am fine, just anxious." He says, intertwining his fingers with mine.

The door opens quickly; Dr. Aurelius walks in with a grin and greets us.

"Good evening Peeta, Katniss' he nods, 'so why are you both here in 4 today?"

"Same to you, Dr. although, the attacks have been coming more frequently then I am used to. I don't need to hurt her anymore. I want a cure, I do not care how long it takes us, I need it."

"Well, Peeta, there is a way to cure it completely. However, it is going to take a while and it is very painful."

"Whatever it takes, I need to do it."

"Well, it is called Electric Shock Therapy, better known as EST. It is a process used and developed to cure mental illnesses, usually used for depression. Although, your case is very extreme and we would need to perform a higher voltage, resulting in more pain."

"I am fine with that." He says weakly, he is so scared.

"Okay, well Mr. Mellark, we can start treatment as soon as you would like."

"I would like to wait a little while longer, just so I can spend time with Katniss and research the therapy and whatnot. Maybe a week will be best."

"Alright a week it is. There are really only a couple of side effects, scars, which we can treat with ointment and pain which we can treat with medicine."

"Okay, thank you Doctor." Peeta says dimly as Dr. Aurelius leaves the room.

I hug him and he kisses my forehead.

"We will be okay, always."


	7. Chapter 7- Birthday Wishes

Chapter 7- Birthday Wishes (Age 18)

I AM SO SORRY I HAVE NOT POSTED. Life has been really busy; trying to write was just really hard this past week. I will try to post another chapter later on tonight or tomorrow morning. Also- to the guest who wanted a bigger mess out of Peeta's acting outs, I put one in there for you! Hope you enjoy! Thank you all for understanding! Much love!

Love you- peetabreadlove

 **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN IT, THIS IS SIMPLY A FICTIONAL WRITING WRITTEN FOR PURE ENJOYMENT. THANK YOU.**

"Katniss, wake up" Peeta says.

"Why, it's-" I look at the clock, it was 1:00 and it sure was not dark outside, how did I sleep in that late?

Peeta chuckles, "You slept in pretty late today."

I try to remember what happened last night, and then I remember, today is my birthday. I went to look at the woods outside and remember Prim as I passed by the beautiful patch of primrose flowers. I couldn't bare it. I then saw a Mockingjay, which reminded me of everything. I remember running back to my house and crying in my sheets, eventually drifting to sleep. I must have gone to bed late.

"Well I am an adult now so I might be getting older…"

"Well good thing, I am not a pedophile anymore!"

I have a December birthday; Peeta has a summer birthday in June. It is December, that means that in two more days Peeta was going to start his treatment. His EST. I wish I could cure him myself.

"I hate my birthday." I grumble, and I really did. I remember not being able to buy one of those pretty cakes in the window of Peeta's bakery because we did not have enough money. I remember one birthday my father bought me a small cake; he was saving for months to buy a cake for me. He gave it to me right when I woke up. It was beautiful, the most beautiful thing I could have ever seen at that age. Covered with green frosting (my favorite color) and inside was covered with strawberries and vanilla. It was delicious. That was my favorite birthday. A year after my father was killed. That's when I started to hate birthdays. Eventually we all forgot about our birthdays and just moved on with our lives. There were bigger things to tend to than a cake and a song to sing.

"Why? I love your birthday, it's just another excuse to celebrate and love you more!" He says excitedly.

He pulled me up and he brought me downstairs to show all of my favorite foods arrayed in beautiful order, sitting on the table. I saw a box in the middle and opened it- it was a beautiful cake. With green frosting, and strawberries inside.

I loved Peeta.

I absorbed the food into my mouth. I am a vacuum when it comes to eating. It just comes in like magic.

"Peeta?" I ask.

"Wha-what?" He asks, shaking his voice a little bit.

"Are you okay?" I am starting to become scared.

"Yes, no, I am not sure Katniss." He replies.

"What did you remember something?" I ask him.

I look into his eyes, they are black. Glossed over; just like the fake memories he his acting on.

"Katniss Everdeen, The whore of Panem! The mockingjay! The leader of the rebellion! The mutt who ruined my life. The bitch who made it all turn to dust! Our home town, my family, your sister? All dead! Done because of YOU. YOU are the reason everything is horrible. You are the reason that we are living lonely lives. You deserve to die! Katniss Everdeen I am going to kill you today." Peeta screams.

"Peeta! Stop!" I cry, tears pouring out of my eyes, I am mortified.

"How are you going to stop me? Huh? Call to Gale?" Peeta retorts

"Peeta…" I stop and run for my room.

He grabs me, "I am not your lover boy anymore! I am done with you! Playing with me and my heart! My life is ruined! My family is dead! Because of you!" He holds up a knife to my throat.

"Peeta" I shriek, "Peeta I love you."

It doesn't seem to help.

I bend his hand back and make a run for it. I run for my room. I hear Peeta clinking up the stairs.

Step, step, step, step, step…

The anxiety is killing me. I lock my door and hide.

I hear the pounding on my door and yelling. I look at my arm as I notice that it is bleeding. His knife must have slashed me when I was running away.

"Katniss! Open the door! I am going to get your sorry ass Katniss!" I hear him say.

I cry some more. This was horrible. I hated myself. I cry and cry and pull myself into a ball and I fall asleep.

I wake up to open the door and find shattered glass, holes in the wall, and a knife lying down on the ground.

I follow the hallway downstairs where I see Peeta crying, holding the knife to his wrist.

"PEETA" I scream. I run to him and fling the knife down on the ground.

"Don't do that Peeta, don't you ever do that!" I scold him.

"I am so sorry Katniss, I am so sorry. I never mean the things I say to you, know that please, it's just the venom."

"I know, Peeta, I know you don't mean it. I know, just I can never live without you. Peeta you mean too much to me. I need your arms, I need your touch. I would have killed myself if you did. I couldn't live in a world without you. You are my everything Peeta. I would never go back to Gale. Peeta you are it. You are my one and only one. I will be with you forever. Please don't leave me." My eyes are pouring out water, like waterfall. Within my long breaths I am wheezing.

"I won't, I promise…" He is now crying.

We sit together for a while, watching Beetee on TV with Paylor, explaining to Caesar Flickerman about their newly found love for each other and how they are to get married soon. The crowd goes hysterical. Squeals and applause fills the room.

Then, I didn't know about this, they play an hour documentary on my life for my birthday; I don't want to watch it so I just turn to Peeta.

"Peeta, since it is my 18th birthday, and I do really want you to be with me forever…"

"Yeah…?"

"Will you do me the honors of being my-"

I am interrupted by his kiss and he carries me up to the bedroom as he walks over the broken glass and he plops me down on the bed.

Happy birthday to me.


	8. Chapter 8- The Last Day

Chapter 8- The Last Day

NOTE: If you guys couldn't tell, Peeta and Katniss did the dirty deed. Yes, yes that thing that people do when they love each other. Just note this as foreshadowing.

 **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN IT, THIS IS SIMPLY A FICTIONAL WRITING WRITTEN FOR PURE ENJOYMENT. THANK YOU.**

I feel Peeta's hand wrapped around my body, after today, I knew I wouldn't be able to keep him here, not for a couple months. I know there would be a lot of time before I could feel him again. I kiss his hand and slowly work up his arm. How did he taste like cake? I knew he baked but dang he tasted good.

Last night was amazing. I never felt anything better before. My love just grew more than I could imagine.

I hear him yawn, and watch his hand leave my waist as it transfers to my hair.

He whispers, "Good morning".

He then bites my ear. It made me want him more.

"Last night was incredible,' he adds, 'I never imagined it would be that good."

He kisses my neck and I don't want to move. It felt so good. I turn around to him so my lips meet his.

I kiss him and break it after a while, "Peeta, today is your last day…"

"I know, but I don't want to talk about it. I want to be with you today, no one else. No distractions, just you and me. I just want to have a really good last day with you before I am gone for a while."

"Okay, okay." My eyes start to water. I am so saddened by the fact that I will not be able to see him for a couple months. I can go visit, but it's not the same. I won't be able to sleep by his side, or eat his cheese buns. I will be alone.

"Don't cry! It's okay! I am always going to call you and talk to you. I will call you everyday and we can talk for hours on hours."

I whimper, "I will not be the same without you here."

"I know, but it won't be the same for me either. It will be different, but I will still love you, no matter how far away from me you are."

"I love you, Peeta." I manage to choke out, fighting the tears.

"I love you too, Katniss."

We get out of bed finally and we make breakfast together. We make pancakes instead of cheese buns.

He throws batter at me and I laugh, I throw more back, until we have barely any batter left.

He pins me down on the counter and wipes off the batter on my lips and kisses me hard and gently all at the same time. It is so passionate.

We stop kissing and actually realize the mess we had made. We clean it up together and we can't stop laughing.

We talk about everything. We eventually end up sitting down watching a movie.

He puts his arm around me and after the movie we decide to take a walk down to the meadow.

We put on our coats and get out of the house.

He holds my hand, it is very cold outside.

"Katniss, do you really know how I fell in love with you?"

"The meadow song? Hah! I know it already!"

"You don't know how it grew do you? That was when my feelings started to arise from the pit of my soul. I knew something was special about you."

I blush.

"When you sang the meadow song I knew automatically I fell for you. I knew it. When I would follow you home to school I would realize how quiet you were when you were walking. Considering how good of a hunter you were, I knew it was a skill you had acquired. My steps were always so loud; I never knew how you didn't notice me. I remember you coming into my father's shop every week to trade your squirrels for bread. My family didn't even eat squirrels. We sold them to other people. My father knew I had a crush on you I think. That's why he bought them from you. I remember sitting in the kitchen watching you come in and leave. I remember my mom yelling at me because she would notice how much I stared at you. I remember I was so jealous of Gale. He was your best friend. I knew eventually that he would have been with you. I was so mad. I never had the courage to come and talk to you. You were too good for me, I told myself that for the longest time. You were the only reason I would smile everyday living in that horrible house with my horrible mother and that bakery. I thought of your face and it made me happier. Do you know how much that meant to me? It was so amazing for me. Then when we were in the train the first games, I knew I was done. You were going to die after me for sure. I wasn't going to be able to tell you how I felt. Then when all of it was said and done, I knew you loved me back by the quarter quell, I could tell by the kiss. It was different. It wasn't like the other fake ones in the first games. It was real. I loved you more and more. Then when they put the venom in me, I couldn't tell. Everything was so murky. I hated it. I couldn't tell what I was feeling. Then when I finally came to my senses, I realized, I couldn't live without you. I can't live without you, Katniss. I can't. It would be too painful for me. Now that we are in this beautiful meadow, and you are the love of my life. I can't imagine living a life without you. It would be unbearable. So, Katniss Everdeen, will you do me the great honor of being my wife? My love for the rest of my life?"

I am crying, excited, sad and worried all the same time. I just know that this was the best day of my life, I kiss him and I hug him and I cry.

"I am hoping that is a yes?"

"A billion times yes."

"Is this a dream or reality, real or not real?" I can tell he is joking.

But I answer seriously, "It's very real Peeta, very, very real."


	9. Chapter 9- The Start

Chapter 9- The Start

 **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN IT, THIS IS SIMPLY A FICTIONAL WRITING WRITTEN FOR PURE ENJOYMENT. THANK YOU.**

NOTE: So guys, I am deeply sorry that I have been lacking with writing this story. I am sorry the last chapter was not that great. I will try to improve the quality, it is just hard because I am tired and I just finished school so I needed a little break. Anyways… Christmas time is coming around soon! Hopefully you guys have a wonderful break and spend time with your families/ guardians! Love you all!

-peetabreadlove

Today was the start of his treatment. A couple days away from Christmas and I couldn't even spend it with him. Our first Christmas spent together will be at a hospital, that is if they let me see him, if not on the phone, separated.

I needed to see him off to the hospital. I needed to say goodbye, just in case.

We get dressed and Peeta packs his bag. I can't handle the fact that my, now, fiancé would be gone from my reach.

We don't bother eating, I can't eat really. I am not hungry-my appetite is gone.

He takes my hand and looks at me in the eyes, "Katniss, I am coming back, I am not going to leave you."

He brushes my cheek; I start to cry as I hug him tightly. It was so hard to see him off. I didn't want him to leave.

"Don't get all soft on me now!" He teases.

"Shut up!" I say, playing along with the joke.

"Katniss, you are amazing. I could never just leave you. You are too perfect to leave."

I smile; he always has a special way with saying things. It makes it all seem true.

"And you're too you, which will make it harder for me to say goodbye."

"Well we still have another hour or so before we have to go on the aircraft…"

I kiss him and we fling ourselves onto the couch, "I love you, he whispers under his breath."

"I love you too."

Then after we are through, we look at the clock and realize that we are very late. Whoops, time flies when you are having fun I guess!

We run onto the hovercraft and we just hold hands on the way to 4.

Halfway through the flight Peeta just wraps his arms around me and hugs me.

I just rest in his embrace.

When it is time to get off I grasp his hand tightly and he looks into my eyes.

"I would feel better if you came in with me…"

I follow him in, reluctantly, I didn't like hospitals. I had already spent so much time in there and it reminded me of 13 and Prim, just too many emotions. Now, on top of that, I would have to imagine Peeta living in here.

Peeta is put into a big room with a nice bed. It was still horrible, it was a hospital room.

Dr. Aurelius walks in with a smile, "Hello Katniss! I didn't know you would be joining us today!"

"I just want to know when I can visit him next."

"Oh well, probably not until Christmas or the day after that…"

"Oh um okay…"

"Katniss-" Peeta says, "Time will go by, I promise you, okay?"

"Okay."

"Katniss, we were thinking of starting the treatment as soon as possible, and I know you don't want to see Peeta go through the EST, so if you would like to say your goodbyes, now I think would be a good time." Dr. Aurelius adds.

I kiss him one last time and hug him hard, "I love you so much, I will call you when I can."

"I love you too Katniss."

I run out of the hospital and board the aircraft immediately. I don't want to see my mother; I don't want to see 4. I don't want to see anyone except my couch and cheese buns.

I get home and cry. I wrap a blanket around me. I want to eat something so I eat the cheese buns and leftover cookies Peeta had made for me.

Today sucked, but I guess when I watched Caesar Flickerman talking to Annie and little Finn, and then it makes it a little better. Being reminded of Finnick didn't help me, but seeing that Annie was happy did.

I call Haymitch and he comes over with some rum. I am not a big drinker, and I didn't plan on taking any drinks, but it helped me swift my problems away, which I needed now.

Haymitch and I talk, and then he teases me about being too in love with Peeta.

"It's going to kill you one day, loving that boy too much. He love you even more than you love him, isn't that crazy?" He says drunkenly.

"Yeah, hah." I said a little tipsy myself, "Haymitch, why don't you ever talk about your love life?"

"Probably because it doesn't exist, sweetheart." He retorts.

"I know there is no one, now, but was there anyone before?"

He laughs, "There was this one girl, a lot of guys liked her though, I was madly in love with the girl."

"What other people were in love with a girl from 12?"

"Well you don't understand, she was kind, witty, and drop dead gorgeous. She never knew I loved her." He says solemnly.

"What other boys liked her?" I ask.

"You are just full of questions when alcohol is in your system!" He sounds annoyed, I don't care and still proceed to get my answer.

"Peeta's dad…"

I cut him off, "You were in love with Peeta's mom?"

"Far from that. I was in love with someone else."

"Well why did you stop loving her?"

"She went off with another man, and I just buried my sorrows in the alcohol."

"I am so sorry, that sucks."

"Well without her we wouldn't have you, so I guess that's fine." He notes.


	10. Chapter 10- Everything Happens

Chapter 10- Everything Happens For A Reason

 **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN IT, THIS IS SIMPLY A FICTIONAL WRITING WRITTEN FOR PURE ENJOYMENT. THANK YOU.**

I am a little shocked to hear that Haymitch was in love with my mother. I knew Peeta's father was for a while, but Haymitch? My mother must have been a heart breaker.

"You were in love… with my mom?" I ask very confused.

"Yes, Katniss, I _was_ in love with your mom." He says.

"Why? Why was she so appealing to everyone?" I ask, confused.

"She was sweet, strong-willed, beautiful. She was smart and perfect. She reminds me a lot of you. Or you remind me a lot of her…"

"Whatever, so how long did you love her? When did you start?" I ask, Haymitch was right; I was full of questions when alcohol was in me.

"I started loving her in the 3rd grade. I fell one day while we were playing; I hurt my knee pretty bad. It was bleeding a whole lot. I couldn't get up and my friends were just laughing at me. She pushed through them and helped me stand and walked me to sit down somewhere by a well. She poured water on the cut and bandaged it up for me. I knew there that I wanted her to be mine."

"Wow." It reminded me of how Peeta fell in love with me. Then I realize that maybe this whole time Haymitch just liked me more because of my mom.

"Then I went off to the games when I was 16 in the Quarter Quell, I told myself that there was a very high chance that I would never see her again. I was determined to win, so she would fall for me. She was all I thought about during the games. Then when the last cannon went off, I felt a rush of excitement. I had just hoped that when I hopped off the train she would run up to me and kiss me."

I just sat in silence, I felt bad.

"So when I got home, I got off the train to hear a series of cheers and applause, and as I searched for her face in the crowd, I saw her there, standing with your father, holding his hand. I lost it."

"Haymitch-that's horrible."

"Well, I never got the balls to tell her. But everything happens for a reason, and you're the reason why that happened. It needed to happen, without you we wouldn't be here right now. So I am somewhat thankful."

I don't really know what to say. All I manage to say is, "Oh yeah I guess."

"Well, sweetheart, I am going to head out." He says solemnly.

"I will see you later!" I say as he exits my home.

I sulk to bed as I am trying to process the information.

I close my eyes and cry as I reach out for Peeta and find his absence.

Morning beams hit my eyes and I flutter my eyelids. I glance at the clock, 8:00.

I needed to call Peeta.

I pick up the phone and dial Dr. Aurelius number into it. I hear it ring.

 _Ring_

 _Ring_

 _Ring_

Is he going to pick up?

"Hello? This is Doctor Aurelius' secretary. He is busy right now, do you need to make an appointment?"

"No, thank you. I am actually calling to check on a patient?"

"Of course! May I ask who is calling?"

Knowing there will be a reaction at the mention of my name, I try to say it quietly.

"…Katniss Everdeen?"

"Ms. Everdeen! Pleasure to be speaking with you! Who would you like to check on? Peeta? I will ring you into his room right away! Thank you for everything you have done for our country and everyone! It is an honor to be talking with you! Wow- Katniss Everdeen! The Mockingjay! Hah!"

"Oh well, I'm just a regular person, trying to reach my fiancé…"

"You're engaged? For real this time? I mean you really love him?"

"Yes… Can I please talk to him?"

"Of course, I am so sorry for the wait!"

"It's okay, thank you for the help."

"It will just be a few seconds! Have a nice day!"

"Same to you."

 _Ring_

 _Ring_

 _Ring_

"Hello?" A scratchy voice picks up the phone.

"Peeta?" I ask excited to hear his voice.

"Katniss! Oh god I am so happy to hear from you." I am relieved.

"How are you doing? Can I come visit?"

"It's only been a day, Katniss."

"A day feels like a year."

"I am doing fine, the side of my head kind of hurts. It's okay; I mean I am on medication. They have changed my diet; it's full of meat. Barely any bread."

"Oh no. Peeta can't live without bread! The boy with the meat? That doesn't stick!" I tease him.

"Hey! It's hard! I love bread!" He says going along with my sarcastic remark.

"I know you do. I know." I am saddened.

"Hey, hey, I will be back okay? I am not going to leave you. We can talk until 1:00, that's when I start the treatment."

"Okay, well Peeta? When are we going to tell everyone about the wedding and the engagement and everything?"

"Maybe when I get back… That would be best. The press will have a fit if they don't see me living with you, or me even being there…" He sighs.

"It's okay, we will figure it out. Are the people nice there?"

"Yes, they are treating me like a king. They give me massages like every hour. It relieves the stress apparently. I should give you one sometimes."

I think about his strong hands. I miss them. How can I miss him so much after one day? One day?

"Oh! I have some news for you!" I say, remembering what Haymitch had told me.

"You aren't pregnant are you? I would feel horrible if I wasn't there. Please don't be pregnant until I am there."

"Peeta we had sex a day ago, I don't think I can tell that quickly."

"Just wanted to make sure, I would be happy. I just wouldn't want to miss out."

"I know… " I pause, then remember that I need to tell him the news, " Oh so apparently Haymitch was in love with my mom."

"Really? Wow your mother is exactly like you! She has people fighting for her left and right!"

"But I didn't choose the coal miner, I chose the baker."

"That's true" He smiles, I can hear it in the change of his voice, "But that's so sad, what happened?"

"Well he fell on the playground one day and she like bandaged him up and he fell in love with her and then never told her and when he came back from the games she had already fallen for my father. So, that sucks."

"Katniss, isn't it weird that if Haymitch ended up with your mom, you wouldn't be here? Or if your mom went with my dad? We wouldn't be here… I wouldn't have fallen in love with you, we wouldn't be in this right now."

"Well I guess everything happens for a reason."


	11. Chapter 11- Christmas

Chapter 11- Christmas

 **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN IT, THIS IS SIMPLY A FICTIONAL WRITING WRITTEN FOR PURE ENJOYMENT. THANK YOU.**

NOTE: 3 more days until Christmas!

Today is Christmas. There is a light layer of snow blanketed over the ground outside. It reminds me of the time where Gale was whipped and I had to get a bowl of snow for him. Then that was the night I kissed him.

I am not sure why I kissed him; I don't think I was even starting to have feelings for him. It was more that he was my best friend, and I was grateful that he was still alive and getting better.

I regret that kiss so much.

It can never compare to the way to how Peeta kisses me now. I see the dead mistletoe that Peeta hung up a couple weeks before today. We only got to use it a couple times, now that it's here, of course we can't use it.

I decide to call everyone, my mother, Gale, Effie, Haymitch, Annie, Beetee, Paylor, and Peeta.

My mother picks up the phone and she talks shortly, knowing she wants a short conversation; I let her go with an "I love you, Mom."

She replies, "I love you too, Katniss."

She ends the phone call.

I know Effie will talk for days, and not my surprise, she does. Then she talks about this new man she's seeing and whatnot. I end the call, "Well, merry Christmas Effie, I love you."

"I love you too Katniss!"

I call Haymitch, he doesn't pick up, and so I just leave a message.

Next I call Paylor and Beetee picks up, "Hello?"

"Oh hey Beetee! Merry Christmas! Can you tell Paylor I said the same?"

"Of course, Katniss. How are you doing? With Peeta and everything…"

"I am doing well. I haven't gone to see him, they won't allow it, maybe they will let me go today."

"Really? Strange, I went to go see him last week…"

"What? I have to go."

"Okay- I am sorry- Merry Christmas!"

"You too."

They let Beetee visit? But not me? This is making me furious. I request for a hovercraft and they come.

"District 4, the hospital."

"As you wish." The pilot says.

I hop off the hovercraft as swiftly as possible. I am holding Peeta's gift in my hand. I am very mad. Infuriated.

I run to Dr. Aurelius' secretary.

"Hi, Ma'am, we talked on the phone? I am Katniss Everdeen? I am coming to visit Peeta."

"Oh let me just-"

"I know _Beetee_ saw him last week."

"That was well, for-"

"I don't care I want to see him."

"Okay, okay. You can go in."

"Merry Christmas."

I run to his room.

"Peeta?"

I look at him, he is still.

"Ms. Everdeen…" Dr. Aurelius says.

"What's wrong? Is he okay? Why isn't he responding?"

"Ms. Everdeen he is in a coma, or in a deep sleep, we are not sure. We don't know what happened."

"How do you not what happened?!" I am screaming now.

"I don't know, he just- sit down Ms. Everdeen."

I am calming down, but am still mad, "How is this possible? I just talked to him."

"We don't know what happened, he just was doing the EST and he passed out and we haven't been able to get him up. He moans sometimes, it sounds like he is saying your name."

"Let me stay with him."

"Okay. It is Christmas."

"I know." I rub his present in my hand.

"Merry Christmas, Katniss."

"You too."

He leaves.

I sit holding Peeta's hand. I try to kiss him and he doesn't wake up. It makes me think of that one fairytale that was in a book we read in grammar school. A girl ate and apple and went into a coma, true love's kiss was the only thing that would have woken her up, of course she was awakened by a prince.

I know I am not in a fairytale, but I am willing to try everything.

I sit there for the whole night, trying to wake him up, and then I think of the meadow song.

I sing:

 _Deep in the meadow_

 _Under the willow_

 _A bed of grass_

 _A soft green pillow_

 _Lay down your head_

 _And close your eyes_

I feel him squeeze my hand.

I see his eyelids start to open.

"Katniss?" He whispers.

I kiss him and he kisses me back. I then notice that he had grown sideburns. Probably to hide his scars.

"Peeta! Peeta…" I am crying now. I know I look so ugly when I cry, I don't even care.

"What happened?" He asks, confused.

"You were in a coma, they said they didn't know what happened to you and I was so scared and I was afraid I lost you."

"I swore I wouldn't leave you, do you really think I would break that promise?"

"I was scared for a second that you did…"

"I would never."

Dr. Aurelius calls our room.

"He woke up" I tell him.

"Good, probably just a deep sleep then."

"I guess, I am going to give him his present, but thank you."

"You're welcome Katniss."

I hang up the phone.

I sit by the bed and hold his hand.

"Are you okay? "

"I am fine, now that you are here I am very fine."

"I brought you a gift." I tell him and reach for it.

"I have something for you too." He gets out his and we exchange.

I open my box, it is a beautiful ring.

He opens his; it is a ring of gold.

We look at each other and laugh for a while.

"Well I just figured that you would probably want a wedding ring…"

"And I thought the same for you…"

"I also brought something, from home."

"What is it?"

I pull out the dead mistletoe and I put it over our heads.

"Oh look, it's mistletoe!" Peeta says.

"I guess it is…"

He looks at me and brushes his hands over my hair and pulls me in for a kiss.

He was the only thing I wanted for Christmas.

And I am happy that I have him .


	12. Chapter 12- Making Resolutions

Chapter 12- Making Resolutions

 **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN IT, THIS IS SIMPLY A FICTIONAL WRITING WRITTEN FOR PURE ENJOYMENT. THANK YOU.**

Note: Okay… So I am so sorry for not posting. Today is actually Christmas, but I knew that I probably would not be posting until then or after. I am so sorry, there has been some family stuff going on (holiday wise), but also kind of got in a fight with my mom today. Not really feeling the Christmas spirit this year, but I think that writing will calm me down a little bit so I am not so uptight about this whole thing. Anyways- I hope you all had a great Christmas and that you all got great presents. I love you all and thank you for still sticking with the story after the non-recent updates.

Love you! - Peetabreadlove

P.S.- THE HUNGER GAMES EXHIBITION IS COMING CLOSE TO WHERE I LIVE AND I AM GOING! I AM SO EXCITED!

A couple days after I visit Peeta in the hospital and I call him everyday. I try to visit him everyday, but sometimes he is in a bad condition, or he doesn't want to see me because he is afraid that I will be hurt. I know Peeta is the sweetest thing on this Earth, he isn't selfish. He didn't want me to see him because he thought I would gain harm from it. Not because he doesn't want to see me, because he was thinking of me, before his needs. I really do love him.

We talk about how we miss each other, and what we are going to do when he gets home. He tries to convince me into having kids.

I am not against having kids. I wouldn't be closed off to the idea of having my own kids, but I have just experienced so much loss with children. Prim, Rue, the other tributes of the Games that were pulled out of each district each year to be slaughtered. I know that the Games will never exist again, but it is all so scarring to me.

Peeta tells me that it would be a great way to see my mother more, have a happier life, take the nightmares away, etc.

I tell him that it is hard for me, and maybe one day we can have kids, I just wasn't ready for them right now.

It is the 30th of December. A day before New Years and I decide to call Peeta. He had just woken up, and the raspy tone of his voice was still present.

"Hello?" He asks smugly.

"Hi!" My face perks up.

"Good morning!" He says brightly as well.

"Happy New Year's Eve! Can I come visit you today? I really want to! It is a holiday so they cannot say no! I need to see you! I am dying to!" I say rapidly.

"Okay, okay! I will ask. You are so pushy, do you know that?" He retorts.

"Only pushy for you, Peeta." I reply, sarcastically.

He laughs, "Hold on, Dr. just walked in, let me ask, okay? I am going to put you on hold."

"Alright, be quick!" I tell him.

I wait for a while, and then I realize that I need to come up with a resolution. I come up with different things; getting married to Peeta, reading more, cooking more, becoming more friendly? I suck at coming up with these types of things.

One time Prim had to come up with a poem in school. She needed help because she couldn't rhyme the word "car" with anything that would sound good. Of course, being the really uncreative person that I was, only came up with "bar" and knew that would not sound good in a child's poem. She laughed and still put it in there.

I sulk on this memory until he picks up the phone again, "I am back! I am ready for some New Year's action!" He sounds giddy.

"Did you come up with a resolution?" I ask, wondering what he came up with.

Peeta is always so creative, his cakes and his artwork can most definitely prove that statement to be 10000% accurate. He uses these colors together I would have never imagined to look good together and they just do. Images that are horrible look terrific. It comes to him so naturally, not saying coming up with a resolution is anywhere near the difficulty of what he does, but it still requires some creativity.

"Yes, I have. I want to 1- Marry you as soon as I get out of the hospital, and 2- Convince you to have kids with me." He says knowingly.

"Really? Well I can assure you number 1 will happen, not sure about 2 yet."

"Katniss, our kids would be so cute. Imagine! A little girl with brown hair and blue eyes, just like yours! Or a little boy with blonde hair and blue eyes, like you and me. Or a little girl with blonde hair and blue eyes. Or a little boy with blonde hair and hazel eyes, but a fast, slim, figure like you. Our kids will both excel in creativity and in athleticism!" He keeps on listing all the good things about our unborn children. Their traits, their capabilities, their voices, their singing, their music, their laughter, their noses, their baby rolls, their feet, their chubby fingers, their smiles. Everything I could possibly imagine in a child, he talked about.

"They would be pretty cute… We will see Peeta, more importantly, can I _see_ you?"

"Yes! He said yes, I forgot to tell you that."

"Okay I will come over right now." I tell him.

"Okay, I love you."

"I love you too Peeta."

I hop onto the hovercraft and tell the pilot where I want to go; he kind of already knows the drill because I don't go anywhere else anymore.

I get off and thank the pilot and run into the hospital, wave to the secretary and she beeps me into the room and there I am, embracing Peeta with as much love as my hug can exert.

"Happy New Year's Eve." He says as he holds my face.

"You too." I give him a quick peck on the cheek.

"Katniss you never told me your resolution."

"Well, mine was going to be marrying you, but that was inevitable, so I chose a different one."

"Which is…?"

"Having a baby."


	13. Chapter 13- Accepting

Chapter 13- Accepting

 **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN IT, THIS IS SIMPLY A FICTIONAL WRITING WRITTEN FOR PURE ENJOYMENT. THANK YOU.**

Peeta nearly cries at the fact that I say that I am ready to have children. To be honest, I am not, but seeing him happy is worth it.

I stare at his eyes; his scars on the side of his head are healing from the ointment, but are still vaguely visible.

"Katniss… Are you sure? I mean I don't want you to not be ready, or to feel pressured; I really don't want that to cause a ruckus. If you don't feel ready, don't do it-"

I cut him off, "Yes, Peeta, I am ready! I want to see what we would look like together, as a family, and make you happy."

"Katniss, will you be happy?"

I think about it, will I? I probably will not, it will bring up too many dark memories. I don't care, so I twist the truth, "Of course I will be!" I say as happily as I can manage.

"Good!" He kisses me, "I am so happy you are ready! I love kids! I cannot believe that on the very first day of school, I fell for that girl who sang the meadow song, but now… Now, she is mine. You are my whole world. I am so lucky, too lucky. Everyday I am with you I am convinced it is a dream, and when I open my eyes I will wake up again in 12. It's not, and I am so grateful for that, Katniss, I truly am."

"I am amazingly grateful for you too Peeta." I am scared now, what if I don't love the child? What if Peeta loves the child more than me? What if the child is scared because of my nightmares? What is Peeta hates me because I will not love the child? The horrible list continues in my head as Peeta talks to me. I am not listening, I am dazing off, I know, but I can't control it.

"Katniss? Did you hear me?" Peeta asks.

"No- I am sorry, I was distracted."

"I was talking about the wedding. I am assuming you want to get married before we have a baby…"

Yes! Of course! We needed to get married first before anything could happen!

"Yes! I do, I feel like having a stable household put in place will be a good idea before bringing a child into the situation."

"Right. Well we need to tell everyone about the engagement." He says, disappointed.

"We can call Effie, then my Mom, then the other tributes, then Caesar and schedule an interview…" I say.

"Well, I am still not out of the hospital! Hah!" He laughs.

"Oh, I am sorry, I forget sometimes." I note.

"It's okay Katniss, I will be out soon!" He says cheerfully as he rubs my shoulder.

"Yeah, I want to talk to Dr. Aurelius. I will be right back." I say as I get up.

"Oh-okay…" He says.

"I will be back! Don't worry! Nothing can hurt me out there."

I start walking and I look down at the floor while doing so, I didn't want anyone to recognize me. Not now. I keep walking at a steady pace and a woman bumps into me.

"Oh excuse me." I say, briefly.

"Katniss?" The woman asks.

It is my mother, looking shocked. She hugs me.

"Oh, hi Mom." I say.

"Why are you here?" She asks.

I guess they kept it really quiet that Peeta was here. No press came, which was nice. The press has been laid back, Effie told them that I was really tired form the rebellion and needed some rest before we were asked questions. It didn't stop them from stalking me inside my home and taking pictures, long story short, they are nowhere near me now.

"Peeta is in here, he's receiving treatment…" I say, quietly.

"Oh Katniss! I am so sorry!" She says with remorse.

"It is okay,' I try and cut things short, 'do you know where Dr. Aurelius is? I need to talk to him…"

"Third floor, Katniss, I love you." She hugs me hard.

"I love you too Mom."

I run to the third floor and find Dr. Aurelius standing with Beetee.

"Hi! Beetee? Why are you here?" I hug him.

"Katniss, we need to tell you something that will change the treatment course." Beetee says frankly.

"Well is it good?"

"Yes, we believe that once we put in this device, he will stop his horrible behavior once and for all."

"Well that is great! What is it?"

"Well it is a little chip, that will connect to the inside of his frontal lobe, where memory is controlled, and we will trigger it to use a special serum that will erase the signals running to the rest of his brain of his fake memories then later on causing his actions and so forth." He sees my confusion, and then looks down at my hand. "I see you two are engaged, congratulations."

"Well thank you. Is the special serum dangerous?"

"No, all natural."

"And you are sure that it will work? It will not cause any harm to him? Or pain?"

"No, nothing will affect him." Beetee notes.

"Well when can we do it?" I ask him.

"Well, you see Katniss, Peeta's head is a little jumbled because of the EST, which as you know is very painful… This resulting in the fact that he will need to stay and recover for a little while before he can get the surgery."

"How long is a little while?" I ask, my heart is beating at this point.

"8 more months until it is all over." He says.

"I guess 8 more months it is then." I say, accepting the fate that we both have in front of us.

8 more months without Peeta.

8 more months getting ready for a wedding.

8 more months to prepare for children.

8 more months to accept everything.


	14. Chapter 14- Months

Chapter 14- Months

 **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN IT, THIS IS SIMPLY A FICTIONAL WRITING WRITTEN FOR PURE ENJOYMENT. THANK YOU.**

NOTE: OKAY, so first sorry, again, for not updating. It was break! I also noticed that I had put that it was New Year's Eve then another date, not sure what I was thinking. Will change that now! Anyways- I truly am sorry. Hope you all had a safe NYE and a fun one too J

I walk into Peeta's room. Head held down on my shoulders. I am sad, relieved, and worried all at once.

"Hi" He says warmly.

"Hello…" I say solemnly.

"What's wrong?" He asks, motioning his hand on his bed, patting next to him, signaling for me to lie down with him.

I lie down and put my head on his strong chest. I listen to his heartbeat. It is a soft, slow heartbeat. It reminds me of the rain. The rain that Peeta walked out into and fed me the bread in. He always sacrificed himself for me. I could never pay him back for the pain he has gone through for me. I lie there for a while and just hold him.

"Katniss- what's wrong?" He asks me, worried, he strokes my hair.

"Well, there is great news. Although, there is a downside…" I start to tear up.

"Katniss- can you please tell me?" He asks, I can tell he is frustrated behind that soft, kind tone.

"Well they found a cure for your… condition, permanently-"

Peeta cuts me off, "That is great news!" He sounds so excited.

"Well, this is the bad part…" I say looking down. "You have to stay here for 8 more months until the procedure is done. I just can't wait that long Peeta. I thought you were only going to stay in here for a couple months. Eight? That is a long time… I am going to have such a hard time living without you and what will the press say? I don't want to tell them you are in the hospital, they will start asking questions. Then Gale… And you. You are going to be living in this hospital for 8 more months Peeta. 8. That's nearly as long as a pregnancy might be. I don't want to plan the wedding without you Peeta… I want you to make our cake, and I want you to pick out what flowers we want. I want you to tell me where to sit everyone and talk to everyone about everything. I want you to talk to me, about everything, in person, so I can be with you. I need you. I can't be without you." The sudden burst of words came out of my mouth so quickly; I had no time to filter. It wasn't in his control, and I was making him feel bad about it. The tears are bursting out of my eyeballs and I can't control my emotions any more. "Peeta, please don't leave me."

"Katniss…" He sighs and hugs me and kisses my neck. "I would never leave you, never in a billion years. This is not in my control, you know that… Listen, Katniss, we can do something, okay? We will figure it out. I don't want to be without you either, but if it means that it will ensure your safety from whatever is happening to me, then so be it. I would rather have you safe in sacrifice for 8 months than to be worried all the time that you might die." He holds my hand and strokes my fingers. He releases from the hug and gives me a sloppy kiss. We would have good-looking kids, they would be kind, and strong… I snap out of it. We still needed to get married.

"I know. I know you wouldn't. I just- I can't stand being away from you. I want to figure something out…"

"You could live with your mother…" Peeta suggests.

I ponder. I could, would she be able to handle it? My nightmares, remembrance of Prim, yelling Peeta's name? I am not sure. Would she crash like the way she did when my father passed away? I didn't want to risk anything, but if it meant being closer to Peeta and having a ride to the hospital everyday…

"I could…" I say, thinking about the subject still.

"We still have a while to talk about this. It is New Year's Eve, let's enjoy it together." He smiles.

" _That_ is a great idea." I perk up.

"Well it is 9:00 PM, Ms. Everdeen soon to be Mellark!" He says jokingly.

"How about some dinner? Mr. Mellark?" I ask following the tone.

"Well the Jell-O is pretty good here." Peeta says.

I laugh, "Jell-O it is."

We eat our Jell-O; I got his to be orange, like Effie's hair. He doesn't like that shade, but it was the only orange they had. I got the green flavor, which tasted like lime. We ate while talking, about our lives, great childhood memories, that one time where Peeta peed his pants in the 1st grade because he didn't want to disrupt the class, and the time in 2nd grade where I was chasing the rabbits into the trap I had made out of sticks. I never noticed Peeta. He always blended in with the crowd, which was one of the great things about him, he knew how to talk, socialize. He would swoon anyone with the subtle movement of his lips. His lips were perfect, round, full, soft, kind, gentle, and all great things, inside of his lips. This made me happy, to see him happy, and cheerful. He was the only reason I smiled.

After we finish talking and our gourmet Jell-O, I stare at the clock, it's 11: 59 PM.

"It's almost 12:00!" Peeta says.

"Darn, I don't have a kiss. Too bad, I was really looking forward to finally having someone to kiss this year…" I say.

"Yeah, me too, too bad my perfect, beautiful, tough, endearing, courageous, kind, caring, amazing fiancé isn't here to give me one."

"I know, it's so annoying that my fiancé isn't here to give me one, you should talk to him sometime, he's really cute, considerate, handsome, talented-"

We hear over the loudspeaker as it cuts me off: _NEW YEAR IN 3, 2, 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!_

"Happy New Year." Peeta kisses me and I melt inside.

I really hope that months will turn to days, and days will turn to minutes, and finally, finally I can hold my love once more.


	15. Chapter 15- January

Chapter 15- January

 **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN IT, THIS IS SIMPLY A FICTIONAL WRITING WRITTEN FOR PURE ENJOYMENT. THANK YOU.**

NOTE: Hey guys! Finally updated. Hope you all loved the chapter! I am sorry if you guys have been in school. It sucks… I hate my school, it is completely outrageous. I literally came back from winter break and now I have to study for finals in 2 weeks. Go school!

It is mid January, the first of eight months until Peeta is to come home again. I have talked to him everyday, tried to visit everyday, if it was available. I think about living with my mother, but I can't imagine leaving 12 and having to live with… her. She was the reason that I had to live in complete poverty and horribly for the majority of my life. She never spoke to us; she only nodded. She never provided. I provided for our whole family. Prim was practically my child. Prim. I missed her. I think that it would be horrible to live with my mother, she reminds me of Prim, and I know that I reminded her of both my father, and Prim. It would be sad, but would I get used to it? I remember Peeta and how he would be so close to me. I could go visit him every single day. Every single day. It would be so amazing. I wouldn't need to worry about calling him because I would just go over there. It would be great. I need to make a decision. I know that, it is just hard, living with torture, but being able to be relieved of the pain quickly. Where as if I was in 12, I would be living alone… With no one to talk to. I have to bite the bullet. I don't want to talk to anyone about this. I needed to make up my mind.

I need to live with my mother. It would be best for Peeta and my mom needs some company.

I will tell Peeta today. I hop onto our hovercraft and they know the drill. They take me to four. It is raining today. It was nice. I love the rain. It revives everything.

I walk into the hospital. I buzz into Peeta's room. He is glowing with excitement, it almost hurts my eyes.

"Hi beautiful, he looks into my eyes." He smirks, this makes me blush. How was he always so good with words?

"Hi… So I made a decision- "I say.

He cuts me off, "Katniss, you should have talked to me, it would have made you feel better. What did you decide on?"

He is right, if I talked to him, it would have been better, but I didn't want to feel pressured to make a decision in front of him. "I don't know why I didn't, but I need to move in with my mother, it would be best…"

"For you or for me?" He asks.

"For both of us, and my mother, we would all benefit from it." I lie a little; I don't want to make him feel bad.

"Good. I want you to be close. Hopefully you can sleepover here sometimes." He says mischievously.

"You are so dirty!" I punch him lightly in the arm.

He laughs, "I just showered!" He jokes.

I laugh and I kiss him. "You are stupid."

"I am? Geez, dirty and stupid? You still kissed me?" He teases me once more.

It is good that Peeta and I can joke around with each other. With all of the pain and the hardships "I guess I can deal with your flaws. As long as you can deal with mine."

"I wouldn't mind waking up to that beautiful face every single morning-" I cut him off.

"I am not feeling well." My stomach churns.

"What? Do you feel like you are about to throw up?" He asks concerned.

"Yeah, a little bit." I feel acid in the back of my throat starting to bubble up a little bit.

"Here,' he stands up and walks me to the bathroom, 'just sit by the toilet and if you feel something tell me, and I will hold your hair back." Even when I was about to exert all of the… Wait. I didn't have any food today. That's strange. I am not allergic to anything. Am I just sick?

"Ugh." I groan as I lean over the toilet to vomit.

Peeta stands there rubbing my pack sympathetically, "It's okay, I will make you better."

"I am okay now…" I say getting a towel to wipe what was remaining of the barf left on my mouth.

"Gosh that was a lot. Did you eat anything bad this morning?"

"Nothing at all, actually."

Peeta's face lights up.

"What? I literally just threw up, and you are smiling?"

"Katniss when did we first have sex?"

"My birthday, why?"

Then I realize. Oh shit. Oh crap. Oh no. Oh shit. Oh fuck. I am screwed. Not right now. I am not ready. Not yet.

"Looks like I am going to be a Dad!" Peeta squeals.

I am quiet. Pale. Blank. Woohoo for January.


	16. Chapter 16- February

Chapter 16- February

 **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN IT, THIS IS SIMPLY A FICTIONAL WRITING WRITTEN FOR PURE ENJOYMENT. THANK YOU.**

NOTE: OKAY SO I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON AND I FEEL SO BAD. Okay so first off, I had finals and life was just being a bitch. so I couldn't really write. I finally am going to write about stuff. Guys I am so so sorry. Please understand. I know that I am supposed to update regularly. I can't even explain how bad I feel. I know I always apologize, but this was such a big time gap. I love you guys so much for sticking with this story. Thank you!

It is almost Valentine's Day. And being pregnant is well. Great. Besides the numerous amounts of backaches, feet swelling, nausea, cravings and mood swings. Peeta says he loves seeing my stomach get bigger, in other words he enjoys seeing me get fat. I live with my mom now, which is nice… She tries to talk to be about the wedding and the baby.

Living with her brings back the memories of Prim, or at least more distinct than they usually are. The nightmares are bad now, but I don't tell Peeta that. I know he would get mad at me for not telling him, my mother doesn't know what happens, she is a heavy sleeper and doesn't hear anything. It is hard to wake up screaming, sweating, and crying all at once and struggle to manage to keep yourself together.

I decide to visit Peeta today, and as I leave my house my mother asks if I would like to do anything for Valentine's Day. I struggle for an answer:

"…Um. Yeah. I guess."

My mother replies, "Good. I will make dinner."

I leave and I walk to the hospital, it is close, but not super close. I needed to walk. I needed to feel the breeze on my face. I see heads turning. I know that I am a familiar face, but I really don't want people to see… Well, my belly, first off, and where I am going. I am very bewildered as to how people have not connected the dots yet.

I hear the whispers of the cameramen and rest of the paparazzi as I walk near and almost into the hospital. I guess the press finally had located me and were pretty persistent on getting some answers as to why I was starting to get a belly, when the wedding was, how Peeta was and all these other questions that were all too much. I started to jog into the hospital and ran into Peeta's room.

"Perfection." He glances at me and gets up from his bed.

Peeta's treatment is going well, he is getting healthier from the EST, and his scars are healing… Now he's just getting better for the surgery. At least he can get up without anyone's help.

I kiss him and hold his hand. "I missed you."

He chuckles, "You see me nearly every single day Katniss, and how can you miss me?"

This confuses me, how could he not realize? "It's not the same… I am pregnant without the father of my child being there, with my mother, and nightmares, which are still very prevalent… So I don't know, I just really want you there. All the time. I don't want you here, in this clean, boring, hospital."

"I know, Katniss-' he puts his hands on my stomach, 'but it's only for a couple more months, and just think- you will have the baby before I come home so you can just get a bed in here with me and I can be right here when you have the baby!"

I laugh at this image of Peeta in a bed watching me give birth to our child. "Like I would let you be appalled by the image of a baby coming out of me."

"You don't want me to be there?" He asks, dolefully.

"Of course I do, but I don't know if I want you to watch it, like actually come out of me." I say.

"I do, I mean I've seen it down there before, it can't be any more different, right?" He says.

I laugh really hard, "Of course it is! I mean it's not like a little human being is coming out of me or anything!"

"Okay, okay, I won't look-" He says as I cut him off.

"You're such a wimp you would probably faint anyways." I tease.

"I know, I really am a wimp. I mean I bake for goodness sake."

"Wow Peeta, that was truly an inspirational phrase. Are you sure you just aren't a wimpy poet?"

"Shut up you athletic, beautiful, mother of my child." He turns to me and he talks to my stomach, it is quite cute. "Hey little one. I love you, and I can't wait for you to come out of your mom, who is beautiful, and who I can only hope you took your physical appearance from, and hopefully my personality because God knows I can't deal with your mother's stubbornness.'' I punch him in the arm.

"Hey, don't punch the patient!" He teases me, "Anyways, I know you will be perfect, and I am so excited to hear your beautiful voice and let you bake with me and paint with me. I love you so much."

I hold his hand and I kiss it. He was so kind. Haymitch was right, I would never deserve him.

"You are so cheesy." I tell him.

"Well at least I am nice!" I tease.

"So- Katniss…" He starts.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"So, since we are having a kid, and we are going to get married, I just thought it would be best to get on good terms with like um Gale. I want him to be at our wedding and experience you and I becoming a family. He is a big part of your life and he needs to be involved in our lives as a couple. I want him to be okay with us together and be the uncle to our child. Is that okay with you? I know things have been awkward, because well. Just because, but I really hope you are okay with it because I know it is important for you and it is for me."

I am surprised… "Oh, wow. Okay. Well how do you want to do this?"

"Can we call him in here or something? Maybe in a couple days… Or like maybe um like tomorrow or something."

"Wow you really want this to happen quickly?"

"I want everything to be perfect for you, Katniss."

Little did he know that everything was perfect for me, and I didn't want it to change.


End file.
